MSW Management | Editorial

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Back to the Future Revisited

By Richard J. Mauck

The following conversation may have already occurred, as far as I know, or may happen in the future. (See MSW Management, Nov/Dec 2006, Vol. 16, No. 7 for the first adventures of Wasteboy and the Green Policemen from the Future.)

“Put that plastic bag down, and step away from the produce!”

“What? Oh, it’s you Green Policemen guys from the future again. What am I doing wrong now?”

“Ticket time.”

“Why me?”

“Wasteboy, we told you before that we were here to clean up the mess you have caused in the future. You were wasting most of the natural resources on the planet before our time. We’re here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“But I forgot my reusable bags today. This bag—it’s only a 1-mil thickness degradable plastic and cornstarch composite grocery bag with a Green Circle seal of approval on it. I only used the plastic bag when I bought loose tomatoes and soft fruit so they don’t roll around and get bruised.”

“A likely story. I still see the checkers and bag boys offering paper or plastic,” sneered the Green Cop, an enforcer’s ticket book in hand.

“Yeah, but they charge a hefty RDV deposit if you choose those bags. ... And they have reusable bags, made from 100% recycled material, for sale at the checkout lines.”

“Still in denial here, huh? If you charged a higher deposit value, people would never use those disposable bags—and how can you make reusable bags from 100% recycled material if you have Zero Waste?”

“Good question. Anyway, I fought the paper versus plastic grocery bag issue. Paper was renewable, but plastic had less impact on the carbon footprint, or so they said—global warming and all that. The political climate was ready to ban plastic bags when the trouble started.”

“What happened?”

“The Grocers Association and paper and plastic bag industry struck first. Next, the organizations who placed ads on the grocery bags filed a lawsuit, soon joined by others, that went to the Supreme Court claiming freedom of speech and freedom of the press violations and that proper environmental review wasn’t completed.

“A Libertarian rights group then began picketing anyone who wanted to ban or over-regulate anything. An overseas group of scientists testified that human activity had no impact on global warming. A militant grassroots groundswell movement next formed called Bag It Or Bust.”

“No one has a clue here.”

“Amen,” added the other Green enforcer.

“The political climate changed, and it’s now considered a constitutional right to have a choice to bag it. Plastic and paper bags are just one more ‘sin-taxed’ consumable item now, like alcohol and cigarettes.”

“Wake up world. Ever gone to a Costco?”

“Yeah, but…”

“No bags there, Wasteboy! Here’s your Environmental Court Waster ticket. You owe Earth 200 community service hours.”

“What! Don’t you guys ever give up?”

“If we did, there wouldn’t be a future.”

Richard J. Mauck, P.E., is director of streets and automotive services in Santa Clara, CA.

MSW - May/June 2008